a day without internet is like a day without...

I got hit with two bits of news yesterday morning as I stumbled down the stairs, news bit one - one of the dogs had decided to use the kitchen floor as a personal bathroom.  news bit two - the internet was out.  Now let me explain a little bit about my morning routine.  I wake up, get up, get ready, rush downstairs, pet da boyz, then dive into the car so that I can be at work at 5:30ish AM.  No I'm not on shift work, I do it to avoid Vancouver to Portland traffic - which rivals LA traffic at times.

I mention this becuase usually I'm half alseep as I stumble though the house towards the car, don't worry by the time I hit the freeway I'm only a quarter asleep. So the two bits of news hit the dull wall of my waking brain.  The dog present had already been cleaned up.  Yea!  The internet - not much I could do but I did manage to mumble.  Did you reboot? -Answer YES  Did you turn off the wireless router wait and then turn it back on? - YES.  Ok - those were my two computer professional thoughts and what I usually did when we'd loose internet.  So I stated there was nothing I could do about it right then as I hoped it would come back on its own accord - like a wandering cat that decides to go on walk about.

I came home - first question - first answer.  Internet up? No.  Crap!  This meant one thing and one thing only - a call to the ISP something I loath and dread with every fiber of my being.  I have nothing against the nice people there, it's just I know the talk track they'll have me follow - most of which I'd already done.  But, no internet meant no e-mail several other things.  YES I have an iphone with 3G but honestly I couldn't see myself trying to answer e-mails, check twitter and facebook and do some reasearch on the web via that little guy.

I called the ISP.  Went through the telephonic gynnastics I needed to get to a live person.  NO I did NOT want to take a survey after I was done with the call - thank you robot voice lady.  Finally I got a real person.  I told him my internet was dead and I blurted out quickly - hoping it would get him past the talk track bits I'd already done.  "I've rebooted several times and I've turned off the router as well.  Nothing."

He was a nice man.  I didn't have to go through that bit again.  He did have me undo the coxaial cables and plug them in again.  Nothing on his end.  Nothing on my end.  The router did it's best to show some weakly flickering lights trying it's best to prove it was still capable, but it was clear to the tech and to me that it just didn't have it anymore.  We needed to go to the bull pen for a new pitcher..I mean server.

The nice man told me to take my router to the nearest office and return it for a brand new one...or at least brand new to me.  OK.  I said and so happily did I head off to get said new router with the old one, no doubt glumly, resting next to me.  I go to the office and see the mass of people waiting, take my number, and wait.  It wasn't too long of a wait and next thing I'm sitting in front of a nice lady shoving my router across the table.

"Um." she says.  I hate when they say Um..it usually means something not good is coming. It wasn't. "I'm sorry, but this router requires a tech to come to your house to replace.  It's secured.  The tech on the phone should have known this.  I'm giving you a $20 credit for your time.  When would you like the tech to come?"

WHAT!  No Internet? No internet ALL NIGHT!  I mean..NO INTERNET!  We set a time and off I go, no doubt the router is now smirking at my misfortune.  I head home.  I made dinner (roasted chicken stuffed with orange and rosemary and new potatoes green beans and mushrooms simmered in a soy broth).  I petted the pups, I groomed the pups (ok brushed), I did check e-mails on my iphone but that was it.  I went to bed.  I read.  I...I...I actually started to remember a time when there was no internet, there was no wireless, no facebook or twitter.  I started to remember  when I wasn't sitting in front of my laptop surfing the net.  It was almost....almost...nice.  Thank the internet gods the tech comes today!  I mean one more day of not having internet and I mightdo something crazy like...like...totally give it up!  WHEW!  That was a close one.